How Fitness Helped Me Overcome Life's Unexpected Challenges

Life is unpredictable. Amongst all of it's beautiful highs, it can offer some deeply challenging lows. Often these dark moments (or perhaps seasons) can be out of our control and feel overwhelming, cause uncertainty & affect our mental health & outlook. However, on my journey I've discovered that consistent physical exercise is one of the best ways to cope with whatever comes up. My workouts have become a crucial support system not just for my physical health, but an essential tool for my mental well-being.

Research shows that regular physical activity can decrease anxiety by 20 to 50%

Discovering the Therapeutic Benefits of Exercise

I remember the exact moment my life changed. I had been navigating my first postpartum season, felt weak, depressed & overwhelmed & I made a choice. I decided I was tired of being unhappy in my body, I was sick of feeling so fatigued & weak: I decided to start my fitness journey.

At first, admittedly, I wanted to change my body. After watching how it changed during pregnancy (& didn't "bounce back" to normal even 5.5 months postpartum), I had low self esteem, but working out quickly became time solely for ME. Those 30 minutes became my sanctuary. After just a few weeks, I noticed a significant shift; the sense of achievement from completing a workout changed how I viewed everything. I had more energy, felt happier, more confident & proud of myself for doing what I said I was going to do (never give up.)

The physical benefits were uplifting, but the mental health & energy boost became game-changers. The rush of endorphins I felt post-workout helped me reframe my challenges. Instead of seeing them as setbacks, I began to view them as opportunities for growth. Research shows that regular physical activity can decrease anxiety by 20 to 50 percent, and I felt this impact firsthand.

Building a Routine

As weeks turned into months, I developed a consistent workout routine that I looked forward to. I included a combo of strength training & cardio, each contribution serving a distinct purpose. This variety helped keep me physically engaged & consistently challenged while providing an effective outlet for stress.

Each workout session became a time for reflection and personal growth. I began to appreciate the value of consistency—showing up for myself even when I didn't feel like it, enjoying the journey & daily efforts versus being consumed by the end destination. This daily commitment of intentionally doing hard things, started to seep into my ability to handle everything & anything that came up for me off the mat. Building fitness into my lifestyle improved every aspect of my life.

February 2023 we announced our surprise pregnancy only to announce the shocking loss a month later.

Overcoming Big Life Changes

As life does often give, it can also take; my workout practice became more than just exercise: it has become my tool, my medicine, my therapy.

In January 2023, I was shocked to discover I was pregnant! We had not been trying so this surprise took a few weeks to settle, but ultimately, we became so excited to welcome another baby into our family. From the moment I found out, I felt very unwell which had been very different from my first two pregnancies. Immediately, I experienced significant sleep disruptions (which was even more exhausting than usual for first trimester where normally I couldn't get enough sleep), was ferociously hungry (also exhausting), generally felt awful & vomited a few times. Almost immediately, I couldn't wear my normal pants. Still, I carried on with workouts as they helped me through my days even though they felt even more challenging that usual. This pregnancy made everything more difficult, especially my workouts, but I was able to maintain continuing to teach classes with Namastay Sweaty Club because of the years prior discipline & consistency built - I always feel way better after a 30 minute workout, no matter how hard it is to get onto the mat.

At 11 week midwife appointment, I did share my concerns of not feeling well. They did mention that my bloodwork showed my thyroid had gone into "hyperthyroid" which can happen in some pregnancies (though it had never happened in my prior two) and would explain the extreme hunger and disrupted sleep. At that same appointment, they couldn't find baby's heartbeat with a doppler. They assured me it was still very early, not to worry & to return the following week to try again. At 12 weeks, I returned only to discover again, they couldn't locate the baby's heartbeat. It struck me as odd because we had already seen baby with a healthy heartbeat on our 9 week ultrasound. Coincidentally, I had another genetic ultrasound booked for 4 days from then, so I decided to trust & wait until then for confirmation. I truly didn't feel that worried at the time, since having two normal & healthy pregnancies prior.

Upon the 13 week ultrasound, the technician did not show me the screen. He was silent. He left to get Andrew & took a very long time to return, only to bring Andrew back in and leave again. Andrew looked at me concerned and asked if everything was alright. I said, "I think so", a bit confused. We waited for the technician to return and he brought in another man who began to speak and said, "We didn't see what we wanted to see today". And the room went blurry. I don't recall what he said after that, something about "we see this all the time..."

I asked, "is there a heartbeat?" to which I received the reply, "there is not." Andrew instantly was in shock & didn't speak. I knew I needed more answers, I thought quickly. "How big is the baby? When did it stop growing?" and he replied, "about 10 weeks 4 days." The reality hit me like bricks. The baby had been gone for almost 3 weeks and I had no signs or symptoms of miscarriage. In fact, I felt extremely pregnant.

Andrew and I looked at one another & started to cry. We left the office and I as we got into the car, I called my Mom barely able to speak through the wails. I was deeply heartbroken and devastated. I could barely get out, "there is no heartbeat" and she also started to cry on the other end of the phone.

My midwife called me almost instantly & mentioned that they would be forwarding my loss to an OBGYN as the ultrasound technician had noticed the placenta looked "abnormal". So I had to wait to hear for next steps. At this point, the experience of a missed miscarriage was so blindsiding, I couldn't even think straight. I was in disbelief, part of me wondered if the technician had gotten it all wrong because I felt so incredibly pregnant.

Later that afternoon, I heard from the OB, who serendipitously, I had met before. My midwives had referred me just once during Lola's pregnancy as there was some debate on whether I was able to have a vaginal birth (due to extreme trauma I experienced from Summer's birth). So I recognized his name & voice and to my surprise, he also remembered me. He first congratulated me for Lola's birth since I did in fact end up having her vaginally, and at home. Then he proceeded to sympathize with my current situation and explain that he had a hunch.

He explained that he believed from the ultrasound images, that the pregnancy I had lost was called a Partial Molar Pregnancy. It's quite rare, about 1 in 1500 pregnancies. Two sperms simultaneously fertilize the egg & so the embryo ends up with 69 chromosomes. It triggers rapid growth of the fetal and placental tissue. It would never be a viable pregnancy with a healthy outcome. The placenta was full of cyst-like sacs, it was not a well pregnancy indeed. He urged me that this pregnancy is actually quite serious if left untreated as the fetal tissue continues to grow and become cancerous, which ultimately is treated with chemotherapy. I couldn't let my body pass this baby on it's own, I needed to have an urgent D&C to remove all tissues/cells. I could not believe what I was hearing. On top of the deep pain of the loss, I also now worried about having to fight for my life.

I spent the next day in bed, absolutely devastated & trying to process the immense sadness, reality and fear that I was feeling. My Mom came and took my girls so I could just wallow. I still felt so pregnant, it was so hard for me to wrap my head around the news.

The following day, I was called to come to the hospital to have the D&C... I couldn't keep the tears away as I laid in the bed, still in disbelief, with my hand over my little mound, hoping somehow, the ultrasound technician was wrong. I was eventually rolled into the surgery prep area and a female doctor approached me in her scrubs asking if I was ready. It wasn't the doctor I had spoken to and I had hoped it would be. I asked her if I could have another ultrasound to confirm and see with my own eyes (the other OB had mentioned that I could before surgery). She was taken aback but assured me I needed to be 100% sure about what was about to happen. So she called the other OB and he ended up coming up from his clinic to preform the surgery with her. I felt relief. Though we weren't 100% sure if I had a partial molar pregnancy at this point, I had began reading about them and all of the symptoms aligned with what I had experienced. I knew he had dealt with them before and was very thorough. The quality of the D&C could make or break the outcome regarding the cells turning cancerous or not. He arrived quickly and after they rolled me into the operating room, he wheeled in a small ultrasound machine and showed me my baby. He has grown since I last saw him on first ultrasound, looked more like a fetus versus a peanut. There was no movement, no heartbeat. They had been right.

When I woke in recovery, I felt groggy and sad and empty. Somehow, the drugs amplified my sorrow. What I expected to be a 2-3 hour ordeal at the hospital ended up being a 9-10 hour ordeal as the doctor wanted to be extremely thorough. He visited me once I was awake enough and told me he had never seen HCG numbers as high as mine which caused him even more alarm. With a partial molar pregnancy, your HCG numbers skyrocket as the placental and fetal tissue rapidly grow. This is also how they monitor and measure potential cancer growth. It scared me. He informed me that I would begin weekly blood draws to monitor the decrease of my HCG levels (and ultimately how they measure if there is tissue/cell cancer growth) & he would contact me when the tested all of the tissue and get the results back (which took what felt like forever) but he was treating me as a partial molar pregnancy to be cautious anyway I also had another drug administered to assure all of the tissue would be released from my body and nothing was left to grow. I felt awful.

The most radiant sunset on the ride home from the day in the hospital that struck me as a sign from our lost angel baby.

The days that followed are a blur. I can't remember a time where I felt emotional pain and anguish like that. I did notice however, almost instantly, I felt better. I realized just how ill that pregnancy was making mew feel, as if I were having the life sucked out of me. My sleep went back to normal almost right away, which was a relief because the toll on my mental health from the disrupted sleep was wearing greatly on me.

The D&C was on a Wednesday. I returned to guiding workouts the following Monday. My heart was not ready to return to reality but life doesn't stop, it keeps moving forward. I needed to move (even though I wanted to stay in the hole I found myself) & needed my community. Each workout prepared my mind for the sadness that crept up, reminded me of my strength and capability. They lifted my mood, my energy & my spirit. According to statistics, individuals who exercise regularly report higher levels of resilience and adaptability.

Red light therapy, sipping bone broth, going to Acupuncture were just some of the things I did to support my healing after the loss

Reflecting on this part of my journey, I realized that consistent workouts fortified my mental toughness. This discipline not only improved my physical health but also provided me with the ability to face life’s unexpected challenges head on. Within days of this news, I was researching what I could do to detox the excess HCG and support my body to heal. My husband even commented on the way I rose to face the fear & reality of the situation. He was my rock through this & I could never have handled this the way I did without the years of training to do hard things. I actually documented all of the things I did to support my healing here.

Research shows that belonging to a supportive group can increase workout consistency by up to 50 percent!

The Impact of Community & the First Survivor

One of the most uplifting surprises of my fitness journey was finding a community of like-minded women. Surrounding myself with other women who shared my goals reinforced my commitment, drive & inspiration. During tough times, specifically my loss, the Namastay Sweaty Club community of women offered so much support to me. I felt so held, so seen & so taken care of energetically by our community.

Following my loss, our Spring Sweat Challenge had already been scheduled, the dates were set

Completing the Survivor Sweat Challenge '23

for April, the theme had already been chosen. Ironically, it was called Survivor. I have mentioned "coincidence" many times in this article, but I hope you have come to realize that I actually don't believe in them. Everything happens exactly how it should, and it happens for us. When we go through hardship, it's hard to see it. But what I've learned about being challenged in workouts is that through struggle, we grow. Through challenges, we progress.

I started the weekly blood draws, every week, I went and sat in a puddle of anxiety waiting to check my results online. My first result was a massive drop, I felt so hopeful that I would be in the clear sooner than expected. But week after week the drops got slower and not as large. For 10 weeks, I went through this drawn out agony but never on my own, weekly messages from my community kept me hopeful & uplifted.

That Survivor Sweat Challenge pulled me out of the hole I wanted to stay in. It forced me to get up, show up & take care of myself even as my heart was broken, even when I didn't think I could. That's when you need it most. We cheered for one another, transforming our workouts into shared successes. I heard from many women about their own hardships and struggles and how much the Survivor Sweat Challenge had meant to them to. I wasn't alone in my hard. Research shows that belonging to a supportive group can increase workout consistency by up to 50 percent! FIFTY PERCENT!

Embracing Change Through Fitness

Life will continually present us with unexpected challenges, but how we respond can reshape our experiences. My fitness journey has transformed my mindset, built my resilience and cultivated a supportive community that anchors me amidst the daily challenges but also the deeper ones of loss, turmoil, hardship, & heartbreak.

If you are facing challenges, big or small, consider integrating a consistent workout routine into your life. It has the power to enrich your physical health and unearth your mental resilience. It makes you better, stronger & happier. You may find that consistently working out becomes the essential ally you never knew you needed to face life's uncertainties. When you show up to do hard things intentionally, you'll be shocked at how you're able to manage hard things when you're not expecting them.

Join us inside Namastay Sweaty Club and start your FREE 7 day trial & lean how to use fitness as a tool for you to overcome all life brings.